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November 9, 2012

Friday Fun 30: Hotel Life lost in translation

by Mark Meynell
no nuclear

Just for a change, here are a few choice quotations from this rather fun tome, Charlie Croker’s Lost in Translation. Of course, it’s never fair to make fun of people’s mistakes in a language not their own. After all, I dread to think of all the terrible errors I’ve made when speaking French.

However, it’s a slightly different matter when it happens on official signs or notices. So here are some taken from hotels around the world.

In a hotel lobby, Beijing, China

Good appearance please no watermelon please

Paris, France

Please leave your values at the front desk

In a Tokyo hotel laundry room:

To everyone of the use, Laundromat – Many people use a Laundromat. let’s comply with the next item to use it for the cleanness safety:

  1. Let’s read the explanation fo the way of using it well, and use the washing machine, the dryness machine properly.
  2. Let’s wash a hand well before and after a wash
  3. Don’t wash the person who get’s an epidemic, and clothes which contacted the person
  4. Don’t wash a diaper which urine stuck to, sports shoes, an animal’s rug because an unpleasantness is given to the person handled later and it is un-sanitation.
  5. Let’s bring it back after you spread the wash from the dryness machine and a state is done.
  6. Please ask a satellite control person in charge for the inquiry about the establishment, the contact of in case of emergency.

In an Italian hotel, signs by the bell:

  • If service is required, give two strokes to the maid and three to the waiter.
  • It is kindly requested from our guests that they avoid dirting and doing rumours in the rooms.
  • Hot and cold water running up and down the stairs.

Las Palmas, Canary Islands:

If you telephone for room service you will get the answer you deserve

Sri Racha, Thailand

No in the room.

Guest questionnaire, Vinales, Cuba

  1. What did you look for?
  2. What did you find it?
  3. How was the service?
    1. Excellent
    2. The awaited one
    3. Almost the awaiting one
    4. Nothing

Ankara, Turkey

You are invite to visit our restaurant where you can eat the Middle East Foods in a European ambulance

Bulgaria

If you are satisfactory, tell your friends. If you are unsatisfactory, warn the waitress.

Assistant public relations manager of a Jakarta hotel after a death there (reported in the Jakarta Post).

Please tell the public not to kill themselves on hotel property if they want to die. It only confounds us. They can do it in the river for example.

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