Feeling out of your depth…?
Am in the middle of a book which was recommended to me by a friend I hardly see for reasons of which I have no knowledge! Zack Eswine’s Sensing Jesus – Life and Ministry as a Human Being.
And I’m loving it – despite the fact that the title really doesn’t help much (perhaps that’s because I’m a Brit!). It is balm for the soul – and actually relevant to any disciple, not just leaders. It is rooted and real – and for wounded, and broken reeds, a true gift of a book.
This bit really jumped out at me.
As pastors we will personally struggle with this. “I constantly feel that I am out of my depth,” my pastor friend said. “Me too,” I said. We both stared quietly into the distance for a moment. Then a few questions occurred to us. Why do we lament the fact that we do not know everything? Why do we speak of our being out of our depth with sadness and heavy sighing, as if we are failing something we were supposed to attain?
“It is as if we feel we are supposed to repent for having limits with our knowledge,” I said. “Who has taught us this?” he wondered. “Where does this expectation to know it all come from?” he asked. We paused and then laughed with shared embarrassment.
We concluded that if we were to say to God, “Father, I constantly feel out of my depth,” God would gently ask, “And why is that a problem?” (Sensing Jesus, p36)